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Why I think “Coming Out” SUUUCKS

Confession: I'm pansexual. And I've never "come out".

My family doesn't know (or at least they didn't before I shared this). I'm not nervous about their reactions. I have a sister and a brother who has each "come out" as bisexual. My mom doesn't quite "get it", but she accepts it and still loves them.

Nah, I'm not worried about their reactions. I honestly don't give a fuck what they think. This is MY life, not theirs.

I guess what I'm really worried about is the downpour of questions I imagine will emerge from my revelation. I don't expect most of my family will understand how I can be attracted to people who aren't cisgender or who don't conform to traditional gender roles.

But why should I have to explain myself? Why do we, as a society, have to "come out"?

WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO HIDE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

I imagine a world where "coming out" is an archaic concept. A world where gender-conforming roles aren't imposed on young minds. Or anyone's minds, for that matter!

Parents announce that they're having a child - the child's biological gender doesn't matter. (Gender reveal parties? They should just go back to where ever the hell they came from.) Girls aren't given only pink clothes and barbies. Boys aren't given just blue things and trucks.

The "sex talk" isn't just about "the birds and the bees". It's about birds who like birds, bees who like bees, and birds who become bees and vice versa.

Parents encourage their children to explore all kinds of identities and activities. So when the child really knows who they are, and what they like, they don't feel like they have to explain themselves.

They don't risk "disappointing" their families by saying they aren't the person society told them - or expected them - to be. Their identity is what it is. They are happy, safe, comfortable, and loved in their own skin.

They are just...them.

We all are just...HUMANS.

Now I'd love to know, have you ever had a coming-out-experience (could be yours or someone who's close to you)? What was it like? Tell me here.


This story was originally shared in my Crystal Passions Facebook group.
I'd love for you to join me over there!
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